I’ve been really struggling lately. It’s a hard thing to admit, but it’s true. I have been down and just feeling completely uncomfortable in my own skin and overwhelmed at life lately. It’s not even something I can put into accurate words, but I’ve been in what I’d call “a funk” for awhile now. I realized today that I haven’t been praying this through. I haven’t gotten into prayer and given this to God. And, that hit me like a ton of bricks today when things seemed to all come down on me all at once again.
As I was cleaning up the kitchen after lunch, I kept having a thought to go to my Bible. I’m thinking “Okay, but let me finish these kitchen counters because they really need cleaning.” The thought just kept recurring to me over and over to go to my Bible. So, I took off my cleaning gloves and went down to the garage to get my Bible out of the van. On the way back up to the kitchen it occurs to me that I don’t know which passage to even turn to, but I know something is supposed to come to my attention. As I get ready to enter the kitchen again, I have Ephesians on my heart. Okay, so Ephesians…got it. But, where? I open the Bible to Ephesians and immediately my eyes go to Ephesians 2. This chapter is all about being made alive in Christ. Alive, truly alive. Not ever condemned to eternal death, but given the gift of salvation and life. Life, the very thing I’ve been finding stressful and hard lately. But, to see it like that – to be promised once again that life is a gift and will be eternal through faith in Jesus…wow. I needed that. I truly needed it. I also needed that blessed reassurance of being saved by God’s amazing grace. Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8 states this – For it is by grace you have been saved through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. I know that God lead me to that verse. He laid it on my heart that He has saved me and it’s not because of me, but because of His graciousness. There is nothing I can do to earn the grace He so freely gives. Nothing could come close to being worthy of His outpouring. Amazing, isn’t it? And, I so needed that on my heart today. Although I have felt so broken and so down, God hasn’t seen me that way. He hasn’t seen me as unworthy of His graciousness. Instead, He is continually faithful even when I am down and don’t remember to look up.
I prayed after I read and I asked God to help me, help me and guide me. I want to give this to Him because without Him, I have no way to rise above. But, with Him and thanks to His ever-present Grace, I know I’ll be okay. Forever.