It’s that time of year again. It’s just barely past Halloween, still more than two weeks before Thanksgiving and yet Christmas is already everywhere we look. Decorations have been up in some stores for weeks now, more catalogs are coming in the mail daily and we’re even beginning to hear some Christmas songs on the radio. I could actually get on a soapbox and rant all day on how I feel that Christmas has become too commercialized and how ridiculous I find it that decorations and such are already up, but that is not the point of today’s blog entry. I can hear the collective sigh of relief already. 😉 Today’s topic is about how torn I am on this Santa thing. It’s really weighing on my mind today and I wanted to get out some thoughts and hopefully get some feedback too. So, stick with me here, please and feel free to leave comments. I’m very interested in what others think and have to say.
As I mentioned above, I am really REALLY torn on this Santa Claus issue. On one hand, I think it’s fun to get into the whole Santa system. I mean, it’s a little bit of “magic” (please note that I use that word innocently) that kids get to think about, or believe in, for a month and a half out of every year. (We all know they forget about all that “He’s watching, be good” stuff as soon as they see the gifts around the tree. That is shot for another eleven months.) In our house we leave out cookies and Mountain Dew each Christmas Eve because Santa needs a caffeine jolt by the time he finally gets to Georgia. We also leave carrots and water for the reindeer. The anticipation and excitement of it all is fun. It really is a great time. But, it feels weird to me this year for some reason. Even though I know it’s all in fun, I feel like I’m lying to my kids about a person that doesn’t exist. I feel that I’m misleading them and potentially setting them up to get their hearts broken when they find out the truth. And, what if this causes them to question if Jesus is real too?! This is the dilemma on my heart today. Of all days, why today? I have no idea, but it’s there. This burden is on my heart and I can’t seem to make much of it on my own right now.
I should clarify that we most certainly teach our girls first and foremost that Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth. They know that much. We keep Christ in Christmas because, well, that’s what it’s all about. The whole Santa thing is far secondary to Jesus, of course. Macey even likes to help me bake a birthday cake for Jesus and we love to sing the Christmas songs that celebrate His birth. That element is present in our home and in our celebrations. That’s where we try to keep our main focus. But, kids are kids and since the whole Santa bit gets told in school and even in church they can’t help but to hear it and be excited by it. It’s been impossible to fully shield our children from knowing about Santa in our society. They know about the big guy in the red and white suit and, trust me, they are genuinely intrigued by it all. What worries me is setting them up to learn that he’s not really real and what that might do to their trust in us and in the Christian values we are helping to establish in them. We have a friend who told us the story of his daughter finding out about Santa and it devastated her because she then wanted to know if they made up the story of Jesus too. That really hit my heart. The last thing I ever want for these girls is to think that any element of our Christian faith is just made up or even untrue. So, the question plaguing me today is wondering if it’s truly possible to intermingle a little bit of Santa lore while keeping the the focus on Jesus? I tend to think so. I want to think so, but my mind is going a hundred miles per hour on that one today.
I would love to hear from other Christians about how you and your family celebrate Christmas. What do you all do? Especially if your child or children are like ours and can’t help but know about Santa from their various surroundings. How do you handle it?
I’m wondering if it’s time to talk to Macey and explain that Santa isn’t real, but it’s fun to think about there being such a kind and generous person in the world. I wonder if she’d get that? I don’t want to ruin any fun for her. She definitely knows what the true meaning of Christmas is – she’s got Jesus in her heart and she knows it’s about Him. Mariana is still a bit young, but she is learning too.
So, let me hear from you. How were things in your home growing up? How are they now? How is Santa handled in your house? Let me hear it. I’m eager to discuss. This is not a one time blog post. This is something that I want to explore and find my way to peace about this season.
You know Kelly when I was pregnant with Ian I felt I didn’t want to do Santa either b/c of the lying issue, but Joey insisted on Santa. Of course like you we teach Jesuse first and foremost but Santa does come and here is why. We don’t view Santa neccesarily as the “person” but as the deliverer of the message that giving is better then recieving. I mean heck other then being good what else does santa expect from everyone he visits? Nothing. He gives and he does it from the heart.Therefore the way I view it is that Santa is real. How old was the friends daughter when she found out about Santa? That might have alot to do with the reaction she had also. I mean we told our older 2 when they were in 4th grade each and they never once questioned is Jesus real. They knew he was real from church and us.I think that might be a reflection of her age and not her beliefe in Jesus. Think about it, when they hear about Jesus sometimes it has to be overwhelming to understand how one person can do so many things so greatly even though the answer is simply he can do it because of who he is. Did any of that make sense???
The family that I referenced above (with the daughter) is one of the strongest Christian families I know. So, I know they taught about Jesus and did everything “right”, you know. I don’t remember how old they said the daughter was when she found out. She was the youngest of two, so she probably found out at an earlier age than her youngest sister. She didn’t question her parents long about wondering if Jesus was real, but her mind had to have been racing a million miles an hour to wonder what else was fabricated, you know? I mean, we can sugar coat it all day, but it IS a fabrication if we let our children believe something (or someone) is real that isn’t.
You make an excellent point about giving over receiving. I like that. And, we absolutely keep Christ as the center of Christmas in our home. We always will. I just struggle mightily these days with making sure the girls know the whole truth. I would really rather them think of Santa as a novelty so they know for sure that Jesus is the only truth of Christmas. You know?
Kelly that’s a tough one and a issue that was in play last year and again this year as Jacob older and understands so much. Terry and I would never want the idea of Santa to be a stumbling block later for him. That being said for now we are going to continue to play along with Santa but never making a huge deal about him, we will write on letter to Santa and if Jacob asked make a visit to see him at the mall. Jacob only get three gifts from Santa, we’ve told him that if three gifts were good enough for Baby Jesus, then it’s good enough for him. Those three gifts are left unwrapped for Jacob to find Christmas morning. The rest of the gifts we receives are wrapped and from Mommy & Daddy. We started this last year and will continue it, before the Santa gifts are taken out of the box or any family gifts are exchanged Terry read the account of Jesus’ birth from the bible.
Also, we took Jacob to shop for the Salvation Army Angel tree last year. We let him pick out a girl (we thought it would be easier for him to give up girl toys) and really made the day about giving for others. I want him to know that there are many kids that are not as fortunate as he is and what we have is a blessing from Jesus.
I think in our cases our kids are shown the the true meaning for Christmas all year long. They see it at home and at church and it’s part of their lives everyday. It’s not as if they are only introduced to Jesus for a month once a year. I think that makes a huge difference. I think with the right amount of acknowledgement of Santa without making it the complete focus of the Season, can be fun for everyone involved.
I read this online and I liked what it said, so I thought I’d share…
“Santa is a great symbol of the Holy Spirit the Father wants to rain over the world.” (Jack W. Hayford).
You make excellent points, Traci!
We have talked about the three gift thing too. Last year we did scale way back and it felt good. We also did “Operation Christmas Child” and Macey was involved with that. I love your ideas!!
We try to minimalize Santa too. For now that’s probably the best way. We tend to even refer to him as “HoHo” to make him seem less of a real person somehow. 😉
We call him “HoHo” too.
Understand that I am not questioning their faith at all…I was just pointing out it might be her age that was the issue with her questioning if Jesus was real.
We always do Toy for Tots and each child picks out a toy for a child in their age group. We provide food to the food bank also. I would love to one year go to the Salvation army and help feed the homeless durin Thanksgiving and Christams. I love the 3 gifts from Santa idea too.We might implement that here.
Leslie – I knew what you meant. I just figured I would clarify for “general readership” to be on the safe side. 😉
I just picked up our “Operation Christmas Child” brochure today and I am so excited to take Macey shopping to help fill it up. Mariana too, but she is a bit young to quite “get it” yet.
Mrs. Mellen
First off, what a great post and great to bring up; oddly enough I was thinking the same thing as you today but in a ”young adult” kind of way. And as you had said before, “Even though I know it’s all in fun, I feel like I’m lying to my kids about a person that doesn’t exist. I feel that I’m misleading them and potentially setting them up to get their hearts broken when they find out the truth. And, what if this causes them to question if Jesus is real too?!” My thoughts on the whole thing is, when I found out that Santa wasn’t real I felt a little let down and ”silly” for believing it. But I personally may I add wasn’t very smart in the whole Jesus thing is like your daughters are (my prospective of Jesus when I found out Santa wasn’t real was the whole oh he was born and he is Gods child and so am I). But I never doubted him because of that. But because you taught your daughters what Christmas is all about, I think when they find out they will be a little disappointed…but who wouldn’t right? But do you think, honestly, that the children you raised to be so God fearing in all would doubt if Jesus is real? Santa and Jesus are different, Jesus is the SON OF GOD (that will never change in the hearts or your daughters, you have taught them, showed them and I doubt that will ever change in them). The big thing is, they will stop ”writing Santa letters” and all those other things… But I think it may even GROW with the whole CHRISTmas thing you know?
Look at it this way, get the Santa image out of there mind, then ever December or whenever the Christmas spirit gets brought up, however early it does, then there hearts will be on CHRIST not Santa… Because you were up front and told them… And you could tie it into Jesus…
just be like:
“….We give each other gifts to show Christ love towards one another because Christ would do that….” You seen the movie Christmas Shoes? All the boy wanted was to give his sick mother a pair of shoes (knowing she was going to die)…. But he was showing the love of Christ… (spreading CHRISTmas cheer for all to see right?)
So take Santa out of the picture and put in you give gifts because CHRIST was born today… you know?
I think there was a reason you were thinking that today, but I think it’s not too late for Macey because if you were to tell her then she could go to school and talk about it with her friends, like, “well my family is doing (insert whatever here)….. I mean there is NO law against a student talking about Jesus, or teachers, teachers just can’t force it!!
As for my family, what we do is on Christmas Eve, after our family goes to the 11:00 Christmas Eve service at MBUMC we open one present, that is ALWAYS PJ’s and then my oldest brother (Taylor) reads, Twas the Night Before Christmas…. drink hot chocolate and then go to bed in our new PJs, we wake up ”early” and get our stockings and quietly go back to our rooms and just play with them til our parents come to get us…. (we try to let them sleep as late as they want, because we know they were up all night making THIS day special… Then we all go around and open presents… It’s not big but its not small you know… some years we will get nothing but one HUGE gift, like some electronic that we have been wanting (last year we all got PSP’s well its what we wanted it equaled to fewer presents you know, so I got that and a sweater) I was happy!! Giving is better than Receiving…thats a biggy!!
But wow, you are awesome Mrs. Mellen, I think you will be fine–you got Christ in ya and you have taught your girls the TRUE way already… just my thoughts as a teenager.
p.s. (I didn’t find out until 6th grade-I know lame, I honestly wish I had found out earlier….) Start em’ young 🙂
Thank you so much for posting and sharing, Shirlee. I also appreciate your votes of confidence. 🙂
We have the PJ traditional for Christmas Eve too. We carried that one over from Mickey’s family. We also have a tradition of giving the girls ornaments on “Christmas Sunday” (the Sunday before Christmas) each year.
Blessings, sweetie.
We don’t do Santa, but we never have, so it is easier. Joshua knows that a pretend character named Santa is in the world, just like a pretend Mickey Mouse or anything else on t.v. When people ask about Santa, like what is Santa going to bring you, Joshua just says, he’s not real, ya know. Or we sing Happy Birthday Jesus.
For us it wasn’t a matter of whether Santa was right or wrong, it just came down to two things. First, did we want to make room for a pretend character in Jesus’ celebration…answer no. Second, the whole thing seems rediculous and becoming more so as the great retail genuis’ of the world find new ways to make it “bigger and better”. The whole concept is just bizarre, but everyone does because….well, everyone just does it. We choose to not do it. I don’t think that Christmas is any less exciting or anticipated for our children, and we don’t have to deal with the finding out issue later…it’s already out.
So, that’s our take. Of course, you probably already know most of our traditions that we do do since we’ve known each other “forever” in internet land, lol!
🙂
Wow, look at all those lengthy comments! Kelly, you’ve stirred some emotions…therefore, I must leave a comment, too. HA!
We have chosen to tell our kids that Santa is a pretend person. Even though they see him ringing a bell outside Walmart, it is really just a regular normal man inside the beard and suit. He’s dressing up, pretending to be Santa. They know the story of Santa but just that it’s that…a story that’s made up. Instead, we focus on the greatest gift of all, baby Jesus. This is a great opportunity to share the gospel with them. They hear these words every Christmas and we pray that their hearts will embrace Christ rather than the excitement of Santa. Please hear that I’m not saying it’s bad to teach your kids Santa….it just all depends on the family. We didn’t want to have to tell our kids later that he wasn’t real, or be confused when learning the truth from someone at school. I am sure that it might be MY kid that shatters some little boy’s heart in class one day when revealing the truth but we decided that that’s not enough reason to keep the truth from them. We’ve even told them that some people really believe Santa is real and we shouldn’t laugh at them (inside or out) for that.
Our kids are just as excited about receiving their three individual gifts on Christmas morning, with our without Santa. The tags all say that the gift is from Mom and Dad. They’ve never seemed confused about the whole thing.
Some might say this sound harsh. I mean, we have told our kids the truth about all those made up characters. They know there’s no such thing as elves, easter bunnies, tooth fairy, etc. I don’t think it’s mean at all. The one reminder that gets me through any moment of reflection is to trust in the TRUTH that it’s not about me/us, it’s about Jesus.
We talk about Santa, as the nephews started that long before we had kids, but at our house, Santa will only bring 3 presents. If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for our girls….
When I was young my parents did Santa. I didn’t find out he wasn’t real until the 5th grade. I had my suspicions the previous year, but never got up the courage to ask until the next year. I can remember being a little sad, but not devestated at all. I would never ever trade the excitement and joy of knowing Santa was coming to my house for anything in the world. There is plently of time for them to have to deal with real world issues and the innocence of childhood is so short. I think this is the first year Sean will kind of understand Santa, but I’m already looking forward to it because it’s almost as if I get to be a kid all over again.
I realize your concern about them wondering if Jesus is real as well. For me I never made a connection to Santa not being real therefore Jesus must not be real either. I always knew the real reason behind Christmas. Every year I put out my nativity scene I get a little teary eyed 🙂
Kelly,
I saw this at the bookstore today and hoped I could find it to share with you. I think it will be a great addition to our family Christmas Tradition.
Santa’s Prayer on
Christmas Eve
By Warren D. Jennings
The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.
“Dear Father,” he prayed “Be with me tonight.
There’s much work to do and my schedule is tight.
I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well that a reindeer can’t fly.
I will visit each household before the first light,
I’ll cover the world and all in one night.
With sleigh bells a-ringing, I’ll land on each roof,
Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.
To get in the house is the difficult part,
So I’ll slide down the chimney of each child’s heart.
My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.
I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.
I’ll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.
I can do all these things Lord, only through You,
I just need your blessing, then it’s easy to do.
All this is to honor the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.
So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them who gave me this job.
Christi – Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your point of view, as always. Remind me, what are yall’s traditions? I know what when you tell me I’ll think “Oh yea…” – lol!!
Jawan – I’ll be honest, girl, I was hoping you’d respond too. I will admit to having this fear that my kids would be the one to break some other kid’s heart about the no Santa thing. I’m leaning towards wanting to tell Macey the truth, but in a delicate way that also keeps it continually fun for her. Make sense? We should have done that all along, I think, but we got caught up in it all. I remember loving the whole Santa bit as a kid and it did not affect me negatively in any way nor diminish my faith in any way.
Kristian – Your in-law family has some really cool traditions, huh? I love the whole three gifts thing. Let me ask you, do your girls get JUST three gifts or is that like three main gifts?
Andrea – I have always been like you describe – comfortable with both elements of Christmas. I have never had any misgivings about Santa, really. I still don’t have any issue with the basics of Santa, but I don’t ever want that to become first and foremost to my girls when it comes to Christmas. Mainly I want the girls to realize that without Jesus there would be no Christmas at all. I believe they are both getting those basics which really touches my heart. 🙂
Traci – I LOVE IT!!! 😀
We only give three gifts, like Jesus got. Ours are one for mind, body and spirit. It makes it fun to figure out gifts. And honestly, it keeps us from jumping on every “big toy” bandwagon every year. We also do new Christmas Eve pj’s every year and everyone gets a stocking with small things in it. Another tradition from my family that we’ll start this year is for everyone to get a box of their favorite cereal. Since we don’t buy sugary bad for you cereal any other time of the year, this will be a real treat. My Mom did it for us because it was the only time we could afford cereal growing up.
I also make a special Christmas morning breakfast of homemade cinnamon rolls. We get up and read the Christmas story in the bible then have our breakfast then do stockings. Later we do gifts. We don’t want the gifts to be our main focus. Later in the day, we have a birthday cake for Jesus and we sing Happy Birthday to Him. 🙂
Christi – I knew it. I knew I would say “OH YEA” when I read your response. 🙂 I remember the mind-body-spirit gift idea. I love it! Great traditions!
Macey has already been asking about making Jesus’ cake. What kind do you make? I think we’ll be doing chocolate this year.
Our special breakfast includes Sister Schubert’s sausage rolls for Mickey because he absolutely loves those things!!
I just make a chocolate cake and write Happy Birthday Jesus on it.
Ok, Sister Schubert’s sausage rolls sounds like they need to be shared!!!
So funny; I think it is that time of year. We were wandering around the store picking up groceries and a few other things, and my eldest made the observation that the sore had “skipped Thanksgiving” and gone straight to Christmas.
We’re about at that age, too, where we’ve got to come down on one side or the other of the Santa issue. We’ve been discussing it since before we married and still don’t have an answer.
Thanks for a great discussion; more to chew on. And I second the recipe request!