More than an uncle…

 

I’m dusting off my blog for the first time in a long time. To be honest, I wish I were coming out “posting hibernation” to write ANYTHING but what I am going to write today. I wish I had a book review to share, or a recipe or a cute new outfit. Anything else. Instead, I’m writing with a heavy heart. A week ago today, our family had a sudden and devastating loss when my Uncle Lawrence, my mama’s younger brother, went to heaven unexpectedly. To say that we are in shock is an understatement. It’s still unbelievable, even a week later, and I can’t fathom that is going to change. I know we will get through it, but we will never get over it.

I want to tell you about Lawrence, who was more than an uncle in a lot of ways. He was only 17 years older than me, so in  a lot of ways he was like a cool big brother. In other ways, he was a great friend. And, yes, he was an awesome uncle. He was that uncle that every kid deserves to have, really, because he thought of my brother Charlie and me as his own. He was also a fun great uncle to our girls and to Charlie’s kids too. Our family is no longer complete, to say the least.

Some things about Lawrence:

• He was my mama’s first baby. She was four years old when Gran and Pop were expecting another baby and she prayed HARD for a baby brother. When someone would ask her what if the baby was a girl, she would get tears in her eyes and say “But, I asked God for a baby brother…” And, she got one. He was her baby from June 28, 1956 onward. She will tell you that the happiest day of her life before she had me and then my brother was the day Lawrence was born. She always looked after him. They had an awesome relationship. He called her “Sistuh” (sister) in a way that only he could say. She often called him “Bubba” and told me that when he was little she sometimes called him “Ducky.” They looked out for one another. They had a bond that is still unbroken today even though he has gone on.
• He loved his family and his friends. Lawrence was loyal and kind. If  he had something you needed, you were welcome to it. His home was open to his family and friends. We have spent some really wonderful days at his place, just hanging out and content to just BE. He always had fun things for the kids to do and loved having them over to play. And, he sure did love Vikki. She was his “Vik” or “CC” (cool cat) as he sometimes called her.
• He wasn’t motivated by money and never tried to keep up with any joneses. Lawrence was who he was. Some might say he was a “simple man”, but don’t take that to mean he didn’t have depth. He definitely had depth of character and had strong values, but money didn’t drive or motivate him. He didn’t need the big fancy house, the latest designer clothes or a shiny new ride with all the bells and whistles. Oh, he liked cars, trust me, but it didn’t have to be brand new. He was content with the blessings he had and he didn’t try to live beyond his means.
• He drove a cotton truck for McClesky Cotton in Sasser, GA and he loved his job! He kept his cotton truck clean and in great working order. On days when he could, he would go by and pick up Pop to let Pop ride around and pick up cotton modules with him. When it got tougher for Pop to climb into the cotton truck, Lawrence fixed him up some steps by the road so Pop could get in the truck easier. That’s the kind of man he was. He loved his job and his family.
• He was mischievous. I might as well confess — this is a family trait. Many of us are like this. We like to “scare” people or pick, but it’s in fun, never mean. He was always up to something, or at least you had better be prepared in case he was. I didn’t understand his picking when I was a little girl, but, like our friend Polly said, eventually we learned to laugh at ourselves and THAT was an awesome lesson he taught us. Life is too short to be taken too seriously all the time, that’s for certain.
• Lawrence was a giver of nicknames. If he knew you, you probably had a nickname. AND, if he had your phone number, it’s probably stored in his cell phone under your nickname. I cannot recall EVER hearing him call me “Kelly”, but I can still hear him calling me “Kel” or “Boo” or “Boo-Bear.” We all had nicknames, even if it was just a name shortened down.

I could honestly go on and on, but I can’t  put him into enough words. He was so many things to so many people and his funeral was a testament to that. My dear friend Sammi told me after that it was the sweetest and most honest service she has ever been privileged to be a part of.  His service honored him. His neighbor and friend “Mr. Horace” gave the message and some of his friends came forward to speak. To hear grown men speak so lovingly of their friend was a true tribute. And, to hear his lifelong friend Jimmy say that Lawrence wasn’t in a mansion in heaven, but a shop out back — well, that rang true of how Lawrence is and would want to be. In my heart and mind, his passing and his funeral came WAY too soon, but if it had to happen then he couldn’t have been honored in any better or more touching way. I dare say that at the end of all of our days, we will want to be celebrated in the same way by those that knew and loved us best. I wanted to speak at his funeral, but…I just couldn’t. I couldn’t get the words to come. Those that DID speak did an awesome job and I hope they know how much  their words meant.

I still don’t have all the words. I’m going to be working for this for a long time, I know.  Last week, at a time when I really needed a word of encouragement, I read the following quote on Facebook and I am sharing it again here because of the truth it rings.  “Thank you, Lord, for the pain we feel. It is the price way pay for having loved someone so much. It is worth it.” As badly as this hurts and as much as I miss him already, I have to remember that it wouldn’t feel this bad if I didn’t love him and be blessed with his love too. There is no eloquent way to say how this feels and how it is to live in a world without Lawrence, so I’m just going to flat out say that it sucks. It does. And, I’m just glad our Heavenly Father, in His grace, doesn’t expect us to understand because I never will. I trust the Lord and His provision, but I will never understand these things.

I’m going to close this post with two pictures. The first is Lawrence with his wife, Vikki, and the second is Lawrence with his daddy, our Pop. Look at that smile on his face.  It was ever present. (As was the toothpick in his mouth.) He was full of love, life, mischief and fun. He made our world a better place just by being in it. And. I’m counting on him to keep heaven fun until we get there.

And, one more of him and Vik – he had been being SILLY just before this shot, but got him some sugar from his wife:

I love you, Lawrence…we all do and we always will!! We miss you so much, Buddy!!

Your Boo forever,

Kel

PS: If you  have a memory or anything to share, please feel free to do so here or on my Facebook.